professional recreational ultimate frisbee player

verylittlebird:

pigquet:

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

This has been health tips from the Greater Night Vale Medical Community.

you’re wrong and I hope you feel bad

candid-appetite:

You know it’s going to be a great Friday when cheesecake is involved. Cinnamon Swirl Cheesecake with Oatmeal Cookie Crust is taking over your life! 

candid-appetite:

You know it’s going to be a great Friday when cheesecake is involved. Cinnamon Swirl Cheesecake with Oatmeal Cookie Crust is taking over your life! 

glowcloud:

i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce

brook:

samurott:

why do chihuahuas looks like they are scared the whole time

who wouldn’t be afraid in this economy

brook:

samurott:

why do chihuahuas looks like they are scared the whole time

who wouldn’t be afraid in this economy

bromar:

*goes to england*

me: excuse me, what time is it?

brit: time wots that m8?

*big ben chimes*

everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*

brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG

 
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